5.(cont.) Unresolved sin is always buried alive ! The word buried is so relevant here. Covered up so I can forget. Somehow our minds convince us that if we can forget about it , it won't hurt us. Only our minds betray us, it is a lie. Because every time another situtation of similar responses from either you or the others involved, the memory is pricked , the pain yells you need to bury me further. Then, when you start on a journey to uncover those buried sins, your mind tries to convince you to leave it alone. "It will hurt to bad !" is the lie my mind feeds me. For years I have studied the goodness and grace of OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST . My mind has to listen to the truth . It's lies are exposed now for what they are. Another reminder from my ever reluctant mind says, "Condemnation, remember him, if you read these scriptures , he might show up. " Again my mind is a big fat liar. Because there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus and He will only light the way to my repentance , not make me suffer and wallow in the guilt of it. This is what Jesus came to do, take away our guilt and shame. So I head into the scriptures listed in our book under : According to biblical writers what does guilt feel like ?
Ezr 9:6
And said, O my God, I am ashamed and blush to lift up my face to thee, my God: for our iniquities are increased over [our] head, and our trespass is grown up unto the heavens.
I was embarrassed the other day. Mostly about what I thought the other person might think about sins exposed. It is uncomfortable to live without a mask. Because I was mostly struggling with not re-hiding, and acting as though I do not sin, nor have sin . I imagine this embarrassment is not really the conviction of the HOLY SPIRIT but my flesh still trying to convince me this is a bad idea. Ezra sat astonished that the people had become so uncareful and were not obeying the laws God had laid out for them. He was not even the one who had committed the sins but his people had.